Fleeting Moments 🤴🐝

There have been very few moments in my life where I have wished for my knight in shinning armour to sweep me off to safety before conquering the fire breathing dragon.  Today just happened to include one of those rare moments.

As I walk out in to the living room to prepare for Boomers afternoon walk I see it fly past in the corner of my eye.  I know that sound of wings, the flash of yellow.  Fear has already grabbed hold before I find the devil bastard comfortably resting on my window.  Grabbing boomer by the collar I dart back into the bedroom and quickly close the door.  Damn wasps!  I immediately dive for my phone.  I scroll till I see my savors name and dial... ring... ring... ring... "You have reached the voice messaging system for..." Dammit to hell mom! I am in my dying hour and you don't answer your phone?!? Fine... ring... ring "Hello."

"Dad! I need you on a plane now! There is a wasp in my apartment and you have to come kill it!!"

Before I've even made it to the end of my sentence he is laughing at me.  Thanks Dad glad you find the devil resting on my window sill to be humorous event!

"Nikki, just grab a fly swatter and kill it." He's already using his calm voice.

"Dad, I remember when you and Shane used to try and kill wasps. You would swatt at them, miss and then the vengeful bastards would come after us.  I would hide in the living room with mom for a reason! Self preservation!"

"Well you have to do something.  Open the window.  He probably wants to go back outside any ways."

"That is way to close for comfort!"

"Just do it!" His calm voice is already shaking. I've annoyed him... okay I'll give it a shot.  I slowly walk to the far window.  I get it up just a little bit...

"Ah! Oh my god it's flying at me! Oohh!! Why the hell do I insist on being independent!  Oh god there's another one outside the window! Ugh!!"

"Well then close the damn window!"

"Dad I have abandoned my dog and fled to the hallway..." Apparently abandonment is a family trait.  Dad has abandoned me as I express more of my disgust and frustration.  It's Mom's turn.  She starts by having me close the window and then offers some helpful advice.

"Go to Safeway pick up some wasp spray and spray him.  You can spray it from far away and it kills on contact."

Thank God for my mother! I have a solution! I am now back from Safeway, wasp spray in hand.  I should probably practice my aim first.  I don't want to miss and have the vengeful cretin come after me.  All those James Bond movies are finally coming in use!  I slowly open my front door.  I locate the wasp. Take aim....

Dear God I didn't even make it half way across the room!! 22 feet my ass! Alright, it was my own fault I didn't have a good grip!  Let's try this again...

I locate the wasp, deep breath, take aim....

Got him!! I may have sprayed more than necessary.  My window is now covered in a white foam of wasp killer but that's okay because I got the bastard!

*ring*

"Mom I got him!"

"Great job sweet heart!"

"Thanks! I went a little over board spraying.  My window is covered in white foam but I got him!"

"Nikki! You only needed to spray him once!"

"Mom at least I killed the damn thing.  Well I should say he's dying..."

"Watching bugs die is a southern woman trait!" My father yells.

Sigh. I say bye and thank you to my parents then take a deep breath before I start cleaning the mess I've made.  I have the lingering longing for a man to take care of it all for me but now it's mingled with a since of accomplishment.  I did just face my fear and killed my very first wasp.  All I needed was a few words of encouragement from my parents!  This single independent woman thing is hard but damn do I feel good when I do it successfully.